My Destined Life
by Xxlilmisstrouble
Summary: My version of Breaking Dawn.Leah's is trying to deal with the way her life is turning out soon Jakes about to become part of it.Is leah going to be hurt again or will she have the happy ending she's longed for? first fanfic read plz! *Blackwater*
1. Prolouge

Prologue

Some people believe that life is what you make of it and other think fate writes down your life for you and all you have to do is follow .

And yes I believe in fate and I strongly believe fates absolutely hates me with all it's might.

Fate seems to think I'm it's chew toy and uses me as it yoyo (yes yoyo) but hey what can you do but follow fate doings. I guess some people were just born to have a happy life or a happy ending and some weren't and I guess you can figure out which group I belong in.

(just in case you're a little thick in the head and can't figure out I'll give you a hint I belong in the unhappy ending category).

But there was a time fate seemed to like me I was a straight A students and had a boyfriend who adored me a great family, but somewhere along the line fate turned it's head and looked the other way and decided my life wasn't important enough. And now I have no boyfriend my families a wreck since my father died and I'm a college school drop out with half a degree and just to added to the stupid list I'm also a giant wolf.

Life is just great isn't just absolutely beautiful !(NOT)

And ther we go my first Chapter I hope u enjoyed even though it rubbish but tune dere gona be more chap and dis is not just some luvy dubby stuff ther will be but theres goin to be some difcult bit and ya goonna hate me for it but hey i'm a writer we do these

might do chap one to night if ya click dat GREEN button or dere be trouble.


	2. Day 1 Of My New Life part one

Day 1 of my new life (part one )

"_Leah If you need our help will give it to you "_

"_for the last time mum I don't need you dumb ass help I'm fine" out shouted over my shoulder while trying to get to the door my dad stood in front of the door blocking my way my mum was behind me. Why can't the just leave me alone for Christ sakes! _

"_Dad can you please get out the way please !!"_

_I hate shouting at my dad I loved him so much it hurt me shouting at him as well as my mum._

"_Leah where a family we can help you don't have to be brave around us we can you get over Sam…"_

_I felt my blood boil over his name I absolutely hated his name in fact I wished him death after what he did to me. I looked at me mum her eyes were wide with fear she seemed concerned then I looked at my father his expression was an exact copy. Why were they staring at me with such horrorific expression._

_ I took a look at my hands and realised why they were starring my hands were shaking violently hard it was almost a blur infact my whole body was doing the exact movement I felt dizzy suddenly and extremely hot very hot as if I was on fire .I was absolutely sure my skin was about to melt of my body with the temperature I had suddenly I exploded in to a something. _

_I took a look at my hands and they were no longer human hands but a paw what had I become I looked a head and found my mother crouched down on the fall near my father his hand on is chest not moving my mother was shaking but not as I was she was shaking with fear than anger. _

_She sobbed "Harry! Harry! You ok Harry answer me!!!" my mother looked at me and looked a way quick .I've seen this before my father had just had another heart attack I found my self howling when I wanted to screaming what had I become a wolf?._

I woke panting and with sweat rolling off my fore head and took a quick glance at my clock it read 3:45 am, great! 3 o'clock in bloody morning, I lay down on by bed again and found my self awake again from the same dream that has been haunting me since the day my father was buried every night I'm a waken by this stupid dream and every night I'm awaken at 3 :45 am in tears great my life really was fucked up just my luck. There was not a single day I didn't not think of my dad or miss him another tear run down my face I wiped of the tear The only place I would ever cry was my room didn't want anyone thinking I was weak assed women. Sigh.

The past year has officially been the worst year of my entire 20 years life. First of all I lost my first ever love Sam urhg I can't think his name without cringing,how my blood boils.

*flash back*

Third person pov

_Leah sat down on the rock near the forest facing the beach she watched the sunset she thought it looked beautiful. A figure came out of the forest it was Sam he looked depressed sad even, Leah frowned at Sam's facial expression she looked confused she thought Sam was here to tell her he wanted to marry her she had caught Sam looking a engagement rings at port angles a few months ago Leah had been waiting for this moment and it had finally come well she thought it had but it was something completely different._

_Sam sat on the other side of the rock far from Leah__. _

_Leah looked even more confused._

"_Sam" Leah began. "Sam what's wrong" _

_Sam took in a deep breath_

"_Leah I've got something to tell you"_

_Leah stopped breathing could this be it._

"_Leah I'm…. I'm seeing someone else" Sam whispered, fading the towards the end._

_Leah felt a lump in her throat. She felt like crying infact she felt a strong erge of dying._

_She looked away tear forming in eyes just as the sun was leaving her side of the world, Sam was leaving too._

_She wiped the tears away from her deep brown eyes and looked at Sam as if she didn't care._

_She hated begin seen as a weak women. _

_She pulled her self together and asked _

"_Who is it" Who's the girls" _

_She wanted to know because who ever it was she was going to rip there heads off_

"_Emily" he whispered_

_Leah stood up now full of rage rather than saddness. _

"_Emily!!! My cousin Emily? how could you!! Sam I thought we ….I thought we" _

_she couldn't finish hers sentence and broke down. _

_Sam stood up and to give Leah a hug, instead she took a step back and hissed her last words to Sam "Don't ever touch me again don't even speak to me because from this day onwards I don't know you!."._

*End of flashback*

Now thinking back he couldn't help himself all because of _imprinting_ I hated imprinting because without it I'll still be with Sam and we could of lived happily I guess.

I lay there starring at my sealing I should seriously get some sleep and when I seemed to be falling back to sleep I slid my eyes closed again thinking "goodbye hurtful world until tomorrow" laughing to my self quietly.

hopefully to _just_ sleep than dream.

**And there you go another chap Im so good so to**

**(But I know wat ya thinking if she so good where iz all de *blackwater* but brace ya selves young ones it's iz coming but I ave to get through all this 1st )**

**congratulate and to motivate me press dat green button or there will be trouble!**

Xlilmisstrouble

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	3. Day 1 Of My New Life part two

Day 1 of my New life (part Two)

"Leah wake up"

Argh who the fuck was it now I swear I've only just gotten to sleep for Christ sakes.

"LEAH get YA SORRY ASSED SELF out OF BED"

"For fuck SAKES Seth there's no reason for you to shout in my ear I WAS Going to wake up anyways!"

I shouted right back in his ear and he stepped back away from placed a finger in his ear and shaked it.

" Sorry Leah I thought you was Dead"

Sometimes Seth can be a right douche bag but also sweet so this time I'll let him off _just_ this once.

"Why are you waking me up anyways it's a Saturday besides it's 12 I don't get up until 3"

I said while hopping back to bed. When Seth stopped me before I layed down again.

He pulled a finger up to my face a waved it back a fourth. I rolled my eyes at him, like I said he's a douche bag!

"Come on Lee you need to get ready asp there's a pack meeting"

Seth seemed to be get all hyped up. Pack meeting were rubbish and a waste of my time.

"And this concerns me how…" I said getting back into bed

"You need to go,your beta, Leah you've got responsibilities"

These are one of the days I regret being beta. I gave up and sighed an unnecessary loud sigh and jogged to the bathroom.

I decided to take a shower instead of bath reason number:

1) it's fast

2)If I jump into a bath I'll be stuck for hours.

So I took my clothes off and before jumping in the shower I caught glance of my figure in the long mirror that was on the back of the door.

I hadn't changed much since I become wolf I still had the same body no massive abs like the boys, I am strong but physically you can't tell and I've grown like and inch bringing me to the height of 6ft 1

(yes I know I'm a pretty tall women, but you haven't seen the boys their like 7ft what not their height is just outrageously funny urgh I sound like a poshy.)

And I have nice long legs which I absolutely love to show-off, what the heck I think I've got one the hottest bodies in la push in fact (big headed) the only different thing was my hair it's up to my shoulders now it had been near my waist then Sam made me cut it thinking my wolf will be all big and hairy but since I've been in Jacob's pack he's allowed me to grow it again knowing I liked it long. (Me and Jacob are getting really close since we started phasing into wolves and stuff but out of most people I guess he understands me the best and yes there was a time I hated Jake but know he is almost my best friend.)

I ran a hand through my hair it was rough and dry I needed wash it.

After coming out of the shower I wrapped a towel around my self and put another on my head to help dry my hair. And I left the bathroom for my room. I heard mumbling down stairs I sniffed the air knowing I'll know who it is by their scent these where one of the advantages of being a wolf apart from begin able to punch someone's nose and actually causing serious damage.

It was definitely Jacob,Quil and Embry as well as my brother they all had a husky masculine smell to them and the touch of pine urgh just listen to me! I sound like a bloody cook.

I moved quickly towards my room which was at the other end of the hall, before someone decided to come up the stairs and catch me like this.

I ran into my room and closed door I let go of the towel and moved towards my closet in search of something to wear.

I opened up my closet and grabbed some underwear (hopefully I wouldn't have phase today because underwear just gets in the way)then I picked up some white shorts and a black tank top I also put on some pearl beads earring and it's matching necklace. (hey can't a girl look nice and besides I have to make Sam jealous.)

I left my room and walked down the stairs I heard someone breathe in relief and say "finally" I bet it was Embry wait till I get held of his nose…

"finally Leah you took nearly an hour" Seth mumbled he was leaning against the front Door.

"Hey a girl gotta look good" I said taking the last step of the stairs.

Jacob stood up from the couch and said "let get going or were gonna be late".

We left the house and scrambled into Jacobs small Rabbit there wasn't enough space for me to sit down so had to sit on Quil lap.

It's was quite in the car for sometime until Embry spoke up.

"You look nice Leah"

"Ah! how sweet Embry thanks" I tapped him on the shoulder as a thank you.

"Have you guys eaten breakfast yet" I asked now in a good mood.

"No but I'm sure Emily's prepared something." Embry answered.

And he was right too the moment we entered the house I could smell bacon and cinnamon rolls,hmm! delicious and behaving like dogs Jake, Quill and Embry all dashed into the kitchen for something to eat. While me and Seth sat down waiting for the meeting to start. Sam's and Emily's house was Pretty cute and modern I should know because I picked it out with him. It's funny how life changes pretty quick. Their house was warm and inviting it was full of warm colours like warm chocolate and beige, in a way the colours was almost appetizing.

10 mins later everyone gathered round to hear the news. Emily's living room was pretty full and surprisingly held both packs as well as the sat there in silence waiting for Sam to begin. Emily approached Sam and stood besides him and they linked hands. That's when I spotted it the shiny silver ring on her fourth finger on her left hand.

The ring held a small round shaped diamond, I've seen this ring before, I've longed for it since the day I layed eyes on it. That ring was the exact ring that was meant for me. It was the very ring Sam had picked out in the Port angeles Mall five months before our break up.I knew exactly what was coming up.

"Well, thanks for coming everyone were glad you guys could make it" Sam gestured towards everyone in the room.

" Me and Emily I have got something to tell you" Emily caught my eyes for the slightest moment and looked away pretty quick too.

"Me and Sam are getting Married!" she said it was really clear she was excited about this hr voice gave her away.

Everyone in the room went quite even Paul stopped eaten and held his mouth wide open with shock.

Me, I wasn't shock I knew this day would come and I excepted it soon.

I could tell some people where looking at me waiting for my reaction, but I wasn't going to behave the way they excepted me to.

I stood and said the words I would have never excepted to come out of my mouth in a millions years but here it came.

"Congratulations Sam and Emily !!" I hugged them both fairly quick and let in the room was still pretty quite.

"God you guys are rude you can't even congratulate the newly engaged!" I said in disbelief.

Now people were staring at me .

"Congrates Sam, Emily" Billy said shaking Sam's hand

Soon everyone followed congratulating them, once everyone was so involved with wishing them thier happiness , I went outside and sat down on their porch .

Moments later I was joined by Jake

"hey Leah"

"hi Jake"

"hey Leah that's was pretty nice of you congratulating Sam on all"

"what else could I do"

"well you could of punched him and spat on Emily's face"

I had to laugh at that I knew everyone excepted me to go crazy and hurt them in some way but I had more class than that besides he's Sam I'm not gonna waste my energy on _Sam_ hell no.

Jake sat down beside me

"Jake what do you take me for"

"I take oyu for Leah, but you've gotta give it to me though I was excepting some kind of scene from you infact everyone was"

I let out a little was always exceptng a scene from since I became such a _bitch_

"look Jake you of all people should know I'm way over him."

"If you are what you doing out here?"

"I'm here because" I took a deep breath and began "I'm here because I' don't want to be the stupid Ex who's hogging on the ex boyfriends' life"

"Is that all?"

"No, I just don't want to be there, you know,when his moving on and I'm still stuck in 'square one' and he's all the way up in 'square 4' it's sucks to be always left behind "

"I know exactly what you mean Lee"

"great because I seriously thought you were thinking I went crazy"

"na, I guess this is a good thing you know him getting married."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it shows you two can never get back together I guess today can be like day one of your new life, Leah Clearwater."

He laughed at he's own words and went back inside and left me thinking.

Jake was such a dumbass but his words left me touched maybe he did have a brain inside his big head,a tiny pea sized brain but still a brain.

_I guess today was day one of my new life._

_**Sorry I kind of rushed the story i'm in a hurry of got loads to do today and i just wanted to get point acroos that sam getin married and she feeld left behind **_

_**And I absolutely love the ending do u? well review so I can know and I want to say a thank you to ItsCuzOftheFame u have really motivated me and a thank you to Kei kat jones**_Thank so much to al other reviewers.

***blackwater* iz coming soon !!!!**

_Xxlilmisstrouble_


	4. Baby Drama

This Is not the best chapter I'm going to write so please don't quit reading I just have to get it done because it still part of the story and I know most of you out there are a Jake n Leah fan but have to add Bella n _nessie_ n Edward it part of story ,….okk I'm gonna shut up now n let u guys read da story.

Baby Drama

Surprisingly today was a sunny day in La Push, maybe _just _maybe fate was really giving me a new life. _A new beginning._

I took of for a run and it felt real good, the wind was sweeping through my fur and it almost felt like it was forming a bubble around me, and the feeling of damp grass beneath my paws was almost relieving.

Running on all fours was much better than running human

1) you could go super fast and 2) you didn't go all sweaty and you wasn't panting for breath every now and then.

Another surprising thing about today was that there was no one in my head to interrupt me or disturb my almost perfect day.

I was running north and was soon approaching another clearing (I had past several other clearings on my journey and I was soon about to head back to la push) When I caught Jacob's scent, I stopped behind a bush and phased. Not far from were I was standing,I saw Jacob sitting on the grass with his back against a tree, something was up because Jacob never ran out this far.

**Third Person's POV**

Leah walked slowly towards Jacob with her head tilted to the side.

Leah was wondering what was going on and her face read curiosity.

"Jacob" she asked

"Jacob you ok"

Jacobs head snapped up he was not expecting anyone near this place for another mile or so. That's why he came to this spot so he could be alone.

"Leah what you doing here?" Jacob's voice was croaky as if he had been crying. Leah moved closer toward him and crouched down.

She looked at Jacob taking in his expression he seemed totally depressed "Jake what's going on you seem like something's bothering you."

And something was bothering him he had just witnessed something horrible, something that could just possibly scar him for life.

"she's.. dying, Lee and there's nothing I can do about it" He hid his face in the palms of his hands.

"who's 'she' Jake?"

Jacob paused for a minute he couldn't bring him self to say it. To put her name and **death** in the same sentence, this is someone he loved, someone who he called his best friend. So instead of saying it he would show Leah instead .

"I'll show you"

Jake stood up and moved to the centre of the small clearing. It was getting dark, the sun was just beginning to set and the sky was a blue-ish and purple-ly looked like someone accidentally pored wate ove the sky causing the colours to thougt this was beautiful .With his back towards Leah he pulled his shorts off. Leah looked away she didn't like the thought of Jake's backside stuck in her memory, besides she thought of Jacob as a brother.

Leah stripped until she was left in her underwear and phased, black fabric went flying every, she didn't care much about her underwear she could live without them ,And the thought of Jake seeing her naked did not please her.

_So Jake, what do you want to show? Leah thought _

_Jake imminently thought of Bella. Leah's first thoughts were Jake was absolutely pathetic and he should get over her she was married for good sakes to a leech!!! but then his thoughts changed and they weren't of Bella they were of him standing in a room, Leah recognized this room it was the Cullen's living room._

"_hello" _

"_anyone here?" _

_Jacob voice echoed throughout the whole living room.(the Cullen's "lived" life/eternity pretty big so the living room was a ridiculous big size) _

"_we're up stairs" _

_Jacob turned around and found Alice sitting on the top step of the staircase_

_Jacob's memory also replayed his thoughts 'god does Alice looks bad'_

_He thought._

_And Alice did look 'bad' she looked as if she was about to crumble at any moment or was on the verge of crying but because of her begin a vampire she couldn't, her body just didn't seem to work that way anymore which made her face look worse._

_Jacob walked up the stairs or flew up the stair he practically took all of the 40 steps in 9 quick strides due to the length of his legs. _

_The closer he got the more anxious he became, he could hear nothing but a faint heartbeat which was coming from the room Alice had pointed to, this did not make any sense when these 7 vamps no longer had a heartbeat._

_Could this be Bella? _

_Had she returned? _

_But if it is her, she wasn't a vampire?_

_Did she suddenly have a change of heart and decided to stay human? _

_And if it was Bella how come spiky (Alice) wasn't happy? _

_These kind of questions raced through Jacobs mind over and over again which only made him quicken his steps._

_He reached the door and pushed it open and he found all the Cullen's _

_Surrounding a bed at the end of the room. The person on the bed must be Bella ,he could smell her distinctive scent._

"_Jacob.."_

"_Is that you Jake" A voice called, it came from the bed. _

_He was a hundred percent sure that the voice he had heard belonged to Bella._

_None of the Cullen's looked back to greet him. But they must of smelt him or heard him so there was no need to greet him._

"_yeah it's me" Jacob's voice came out all croaky so he coughed and repeated it._

"_Come over and see me Jake" Bella must of moved so she could sit up when she was told by Rosalie to stay lying down._

_Jasper, Esme and Carsile all stepped aside to let Jacob through._

_Jacob gasped when he caught sight of Bella, he could not believe his eye's they must be lying to him because what he's seeing must wrong._

_Bella was lying down on a bed, it wasn't not a normal bed but a hospital one. _

_She was green in the face and looked Extremely ill. Her hair was tied in a messy knot and her arms looked paper thin. She was wearing an oversized a grey T-shirt. _

_But thing that had made Jacob gasp was the round thing that was where her flat stomach was so posed to be ,was Bella pregnant? or did she just have to much to eat since her wedding._

___Jacob caught sight of Edward and he did not look like the ordinary gohappy Father-to-be, for once he actually looked his age of 180 years._

_Bella placed a hand on her stomach and rubbed the big bulge._

Then placed she placed both hands on either side of the big bulge and not meeting Jacobs eyes she whispered

"You'll never guess what Jake I'm, having a baby".

I know You guys seriously hate me for doing this but I thought it was a great place to stop and if I continued I would of ended up re writing Breaking dawn:book2 so I had to stop so I can get back on Jake n Leah.

*Blackwater* Coming soon!

_Xxlilmisstrouble_


	5. Talk

_I want to thank all da reviewers ya really boosting up my confidence_

_I own nothing but the plot of this story!x_

Talk

Jake phased within thinking his last thoughts Bella.

He sat down on the grass with his face in his hand. I ran towards the nearest bush and phased, once I was dressed I ran back into the clearing and sat down opposite him.

I guess it was hard for him to relive the experience. Jake was really hurting over this it was written all over his face as well as in his body language. The Poor boy looked so confused. I felt like smoothing out all the worry lines that was creased up between his brows.

I don't blame him for begin hurt, if you had loved a girl so much as much as _Jacob loves Bella ,_wouldn't you be hurting?, while you watched the one you loved die over something you thought wasn't worthy enough or you had no choice but watch them die because there was nothing you could do to save them.

Jacob had it really bad, At this very moment I was all he had to comfort him. Just they way he _had_ comforted me when _I_ had it bad.

It was officially dark now and in the sky sat the moon a, full moon,The sky looked pretty beautiful it was clam and peaceful.

After 10 minutes Jake finally looked at me, and I smiled right back, making sure he knew I was there for him. He seemed to relax a bit but I could tell he was still a bit tensed.

"you know what, Leah sadly enough I can still remember the first time I saw her, If …If only I had know.. Maybe I could of…"

"Jake" I placed a finger on his lips so he could stop.

"life's not about the what if's, there's no time machine so we can go back and re do are whole life because if there was, there'll be no point of us learning from are mistakes or the point of pain and death when we could just go back and change it. That will make life meaningless. Jake you've got to understand that things happen for a reason and Bella was meant to be with Edward in away."

Jake looked at me with a disbelieving look in his eyes

"Leah how can you say that Bella was never meant to be with Edward his _a vampire _he wasn't supposed to be here let alone us begin werewolves. If she was meant to be with Edward she wouldn't be dying"

"And you think she's supposed to be with you? "

At this point were both standing, He seriously didn't get it ,she never wanted him, but for some reason he keeps sticking with her like a third arm and it was ticking me off he should just hurry up and get over her, but it isn't that easy and I of all people should know.

"No, I just think she should stop chasing the supernatural and now she's paying with her _life_!!"

Jake was shaking now, he was definitely angry.

"all because of that blooding-sucking-mind reading freak, I've warned her time and time again but she just to FUCKING stubborn!!!!"

Jake turned around to punch a tree, and I guess the tree couldn't take his powerful punch because a few seconds later it fell over.

"Jacob come on, calm down"

I must of sounded frightened because he calmed down straight away, and looked apologetic."

We went quite for a few mintues,Jake was on the floor again with his thinking mask on, I sat down on the trunk from the broken tree.

"Jake, I'm sorry about Bella"

I have no idea why I said that, because I didn't mean it, yes I was sorry she was dying but all she's done is cause nothing but pain to Jake ,since the day he laid eyes on her all she done is made Jacob feel pain than love.

"Why are you sorry you've got nothing to be sorry about"

Jake said it so quietly it was barley a whisper.

"well you love her and you may lose her If it was me and this happened a few months ago when I was still clinging onto Sam I'll be pretty messed up too"

"I don't love her it's….." I stopped Jake before he could continue.

"wait your not in love with her ."

"Yeah I just feel real close to her it feels like losing a sister."

"When did this happen I..I. can't believe it your _over_ Bella"

"couple of weeks ago I just began thinking less about her and more of…."

"Jake we got to celebrate your free Jake"

I could help but cut Jake of again.

"Jake we've got to celebrate, your free Jacob"

"Ya Free!"

With that I grabbed hold of his hand and pulled him up from the floor. I was so happy for Jacob now he could let go of the past, of Bella and her unwanted love for him and he could move on just like me.

I know this iz not a good chapter but once again it had to be done, Now that I've got the point of Jacob not lovin Bella anymore

The real story can begin.

*blackwater* coming soon!

_Xxlilmisstrouble_


	6. Feelings For You

_**Thank all da reviewrs for reviewing n a special thnkx to ItzCuzOfTheFame for keeping a special eye on me spellin n stuff so thnkx.**_

_**I own nothing but the plot of of this story!**_

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**Feelings for you **

Jacob Pov

The sun has barley come up and I'm wide awake. All I've done today is THINK(a lot ) you'll actually think my brain will be begging me to shut and sleep but instead it wont shut the fuck up and let me rest for the slightest second.

At this rate I'll be too tired to patrol this morning or be able to go out for Leah's "surprise".

Ahh Leeaahh.

All I've done today is think about her infact all I've done in the past month! Is think of her. To be honest last night I had used Bella's terrible condition as an accuse. Don't get me wrong I'm pretty messed up about the whole 'her being pregnant' issue right now but I had really gone out to the forest to think about my confused emotions and I mean really confused emotions.

Sine the whole becoming a werewolf thing I gotten really close to Leah I enjoy her company, her jokes, her smile, her body….urhh there I go again I've got to stop thinking like that.! But I can't.

Earlier, back at the forest It was so hard to not kiss Leah she was so close I could feel her body heat and she smelt so good it was almost intoxicating. Leah has a pretty hot body actually she has one of the best bodies in la when she ripped her clothes off to phase earlier I felt the sudden urge to pin her to a tree.

I was going to tell her then and there but she kept on interrupting and I guess it was a good thing too because looking back now it was a bad idea.

I can't risk the great friendship I have with Leah over some stupid it just a stupid crush and I'll get over it right? Sigh.

Why does life do this when you think your life is finally going to turn out alright it turns around and stabs you right in the back and begin a werewolf a bet it stabs you twice as hard seeing as what we've been through.

I mean me and Leah have a good relationship together we trust each other and were comfortable when were around each other ,and if I tell her that I'm falling for her,things will be awkward and when things go awkward we'll stop hanging out and stuff ,will end up making stupid excuses and that will just suck! I can even picture it now.

_Sorry Jake I've got to do some shopping for my mum. _Like Leah ever does shopping for her mum.

But I can't help but wish that if I do tell her that maybe _just_ maybe she'll give a 'waste of space boy' like me a chance.

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_**Shortest chap yet sorry but I've had a realy hard dai but I'll promise you the next one will hopfully be better.**_

_**Xxlilmisstrouble**_


	7. Mother Natures Garden part one

___Sorry I've made you guys wait 2 day's but I couldn't be bothered to write yesterday I will also be delaying tomarrow aswell coz i've got 2 revise for a stupid test,Iknow skoll can be such a pain but the good thing iz i've got no skoll tomaroz and if ya wondering when i'll do da next chap it'll probaly be wednesday,ok i'll shut up now and let you read da ***_

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Mother Nature's Garden (part one)

Third person's Pov

Billy sat was watching TV when the door bell rang

"Who is it?" Billy was approaching the door when a voice came from the other side of the door.

"it's Leah, open up" Billy opened the wooden door and let Leah in. Outside was a little windy but dry at the moment.

Billy liked wind especially when he's going over to Charlie's because you had to pass a hill and he enjoyed the ride back down.

"Hey Mr Black" Leah Had know Billy all her life but she still addressed him as Mr Black ,she respected him.

"Leah how many times do I have to tell you Billy's just fine"

"ok Mr Black" Billy rolled his eyes and Leah smirked.

"so where's Jacob"

"Where do _you_ think?"

Leah sighed "sleeping, I'll go wake him up".Jacob was allways sleeping and coming over to his at 11 am was not a good idea.

"good luck with that"

Leah stood up and gave Billy a quick smile and walked out of the room towards Jake's room she knew which room Rachel's room was, because she spent most of her teenage years in there, So Jake's room must be upstairs.

She could smell Jacob' s scent and it was coming from the first door on the right. She pushed the door open his room was pretty much tidy for a boy's room. His room was blue and white and it looked like he hadn't gotten his room redecorated since he was 10.

On the wall above his bed was picture's of his loved ones. There was one of him and his sister's, one with his Mum as a five year old, one with him and the boys and right bang in the middle was one of Leah when Jacob was giving Leah a piggy back ride, Jake must have been 13 and Leah 15,

Jacob had never looked his age,since he was about 10 he always looked older than what he really his age was. In the picture they were both smiling, Leah felt herself forming a smile remembering what had happened next after they took the picture. Jacob lost his grip and had ended up crushing Leah's arm and she had needed to where a cast for a month. Leah's eyes dropped away from the picture's and they looked at the bed and on the bed laid Jacob's huge muscled up body.

Leah's pov

Jacob looked so cute asleep even though he was seventeen and he had the body of a man (a really good one too, you had to admit Jacob was a pretty good looking boy in fact he had the type of body you'll could just lick chocolate off of.), his duvet was nowhere in sight and he was all over the place one arm was half on the bed and half off ,his mouth was wide open he reminded me so much of Seth asleep I had to remained my self if was Jacob.

I felt a smile creep up to my face I got rid of the smile and replaced it with a irritating frown, because Leah Clearwater does not and I repeat does not smile at stupid sleeping boys like Jacob Black, I shivered at the thought of it.

I walked up to his bed and couched down on the floor . I pulled on his t-shirt a few times but he didn't budge so I thought maybe a slap would work.

"Jake wake up" he didn't wake up or move a muscle, damn! Billy was right to wish me luck, I raised my hand up in the air and I was about to smack Jacob over the head when he mumbled something and it sounded like am "I'm crazy about you" but it was all a blur so I could be wrong.

Jake is such a dick, he's has just gotten over Bella the vampire lover and he's already hitched him self on another girl, and I'm about to find out who too but once again him might just be dreaming of a cartoon and he might be crazy about that, don't get me wrong I'm not crazy I've got a reason to say this. Last time we were in the woods patrolling and we had to sleep there because of Victoria the leech coz she was coming after the supernatural-chaser (according to Jacob) Bella. So we were in are wolf forms sleeping and Jacob had this very weird dream about a dinosaur cartoon chasing him and killing him. Like I said Jacobs a dick.

Two minutes later of constant nagging and shouting he _Finally _woke up. Oh yeah after I hit him with an iron.

Jacob Pov

_DREAM_

_Leah was sitting on the sand besides me and she looked super hot in the bikini she was wearing when ever I looked at her my heart would beat really fast._

"_So Jacob why did you bring me here it wasn't just to go swimming was it ? 'cause I could go on my own."_

"_no I didn't bring you here to go swimming I want to tell you something"_

_I all I had to do is open my mouth and speak how difficult can that be? Well It shouldn't be difficult, unless you were me then It was an whole different situation ,I just couldn't bring my self to say it, but I __had to, it was either now or never, _

_My heart was beating like crazy and my palms were all hot and sweaty, all the sudden I felt really thirsty. great!_

"_come on Jacob I haven't got all day!"_

_The sun was just about setting so technically she did have all day 'cause the day was nearly over._

"_I….I..I'mcrazyaboutyou" (it sounded like one word but hey as long as I got it out.)_

_I waited for Leah's shock horror expression but It never came she was just smiling actually she was laughing and she was laughing pretty hard too._

"_oh..my…god..jake..your..so…funny..I..didn't..get..aword..of..that"_

_she managed to get her sentence out between her laughs which I found pretty cute, butit was not what I was looking for and worse of all I had to say it again! Leah was calm now and she once again looked a little impatient._

"_Leah I'm think am in love with you"_

_It was so quite after that all I could her was my racing heart and her steady one._

_She was about to open her tiny mouth and speak when I felt something hard and cold against my head._

end of dream

************************

"What the fuck!!!!" And out of nowhere stood Leah with a bloody iron in her hands.

"am sorry Jacob but you wouldn't wake up I never meant to hit you that hard" and through out her little speech I could see she was trying very hard not to laugh.

I put a hand towards my head and felt something wet , I pulled my hands away from my head and my hand was all bloody.

"Leah Suzan Clearwater ! What the fuck have you done to my head!"

I heard my Dad wheel him self up the ramp to my bed room

"what are you guys shouting over..oh my god what's been going on here it looks like a horror movie set."

Leah finally burst out laughing, her laugh was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard, her laugh was like a song. A song always has away to get you dancing to it and her laugh was almost like that, it made you want to join in with her she even got Billy laughing with her and I couldn't seem to resist too.

*Blackwater*coming very soon!

_Xxlilmisstrouble._


	8. Mother Natures Garden part two

**Ok I seriously let my imagination run wild in the previous chapter but hey they site says "unleash your imagine nation" so I did just that n I'm proud -caution **_**Xxlilmisstrouble **_**was/is a little tipsy when writing**

Mother Natures Garden (part two)

After my head healed and was looking brand new.

I went jumped in the shower and Leah was cleaning up the blood which covered a large part of my carpet and bed sheets .

I got out of the shower and had only a towel on my bottom half of my body and was dripping wet, I walk into the my room finding Leah on the floor scrubbing my carpet.

She looked up and her left eye brow was arched. Then she looked back down

"Jake we all know you've got a _great _body quit showing off"

I had to laugh she was always showing of her figure and I bet she had the whole of la push thinking she was some kind off whore because she was always in shorts and she always hanging around us who were mostly top less all of the time.

"your such a hypocrite"

"no I'm _not_"

with that she threw the huge soaking in soap and blood sponge right in my face.

"Jake your so useless, you could of caught that" she was laughing _and_ once again pretty hard.

"Leah get the hell out of my room so I can change"

She kept on scrubbing so I threw a dirty sock in her face and she was practically sprinting down the hall. I locked the door as soon as she left.

Leah pov 

I was so hungry I could eat a horse.

I had barley had anything to eat yesterday and I left this morning without any breakfast.

So I went hunting threw Billy's kitchen, there was barley anything in the fridge or the cupboards I had to seriously get my mom to get some shopping for Billy or he'll stave to death. I settled with a handful of cheerio's and I crashed my self into the sofa, a few seconds later I heard a footsteps coming from the steps, _damn!_ did boys tend to get dressed real quick ,if it was me I'll still be in my room looking for the right type of underwear to wear!

I looked round to find Jake already in the room, he practically did those 16 steps in like 4 strides he so circus-ly tall (if you didn't get that, It meant Freakishly tall)

"hey Jake ready to go"

"sure let me just grab something to eat"

"there's no need to get some I brought some food for our little outing"

"_Little outing? _Your so peculiar "

"peculiar? Jacob black said peculiar never thought I'll see the day in fact I've never thought your brain will be big enough to fit such a big word" I said it so sarcastically he was laughing.

We both approached the door at the same time and for split second our hands meet at the door knob. Jake moved his hand pretty quick which kind of hurt, I have no Idea why but it did.

I opened the door and walked out followed by Jacob

"bye Mr Black."

"bye Leah have a great time" He barley looked at us I bet he couldn't wait to get rid of us.

"we will".

Jake Pov

"so where gonna take my car or what?"

"Na, were running" Shit! I can't run with her while I 'm thinking the way I am, she'll properly kill me and you have no idea what little fantasies my brain makes up about her.

"can't you like, drive my car I'm not in the mood for running."

"Jacob Black ! Not in the mood for running I'll never have thought I'll see the day!"

She said it all sarcastically and was doing little movements with her hands she looked ridicules, I had to laugh.

"what?"

"Nothing"

She began to take her Jacket off when I stopped her.

"Leah seriously can we take da car ?"

"why the car's to slow"

"but you got a huge bag you don't want to be carrying that in your mouth while running." I had to find a way out of this.

"who said I was going to carry it."

"it your bag!"

"but all da stuff in there for _you_ any way"

"about that, where ya taking me ?

" it 's a surprise idiot."

Sadly we were running all they way there and I all I thought about on the way there was why grass looked green and It worked it kept my mind occupied.

We've been running for more than an hour, when were we _ever_ going to get to this place !

_Leah are we there yet?_

_No and yes will be there in a few minutes._

Leah finally stopped after a few minutes of us talking there was nothing special about were she stopped it was just like any other place in the forest.

She phased and I soon followed.

"so is this the surprise?"

"no dumbo! Why would I bring you all the way out here just to show you the same thing that we have back in la push?"

I thought about it for a while even though it was an rhetorical question I answered it anyways.

"because you're the type who would do something like this just to get a laugh."

"ha ha very funny" then she rolled her eyes.

With that she walked off and once again I was clueless of where she was leading me.

We walked in silence for about a minute until we approached these really tall trees.

"here we are" She smiled her signature smile then she walked through the one pair of the trees into a small meadow.

The meadow was beautiful it was a perfect little circle with flowers surrounding the area. The trees made an arch over the little meadow, in the centre of the small arch was a gap which the sun shone through and made a little spot light which it the centre of the meadow the grass was a perfect green it looked like something out of a Disney cartoon movie it looked too good to be true.

"I thought you would like some where you might like too go to know."

I turned around to find Leah looking at me.

"last year when everything was going wrong scratch that when Sam found Emily"

she took a in a deep breath she hated speaking about the worst time of her life. You could tell by the way she spoke.

"….and left me then my dad dying and becoming a wolf.. I..I couldn't take it anymore ..I was _going_ to run away ist kind of stupid especially when it's stuff 15 years old do but I couldn't be around la push and every one there I had to leave, but when I was running I found this place and I stayed here for hours and hours just thinking, this place practically stopped me from leaving." I could see her eyes water up but she turned around so I couldn't see.

"Leah"

" you don't always have to be brave, _especially_ around me"

Suddenly I found my self wiping a way her tears, it felt so good feeling her skin it felt warm and silky, I wished I could feel every part of her skin…

Before I could get carried away I pulled away quickly just as quick as I placed my finger there. We were quite for sometime when Leah spoke

"I know Jake, I don't have to but If I don't I don't think I'll be able to make it through this stupid life of mine."

She grabbed the rucksack she bought with her and walked to the centre of the meadow and sat down, I followed her and sat with her.

"I love this place I call it 'mother nature's garden' because it looks to good to be true."

"Your right there it does look to good to be true."

Leah laid down on the thick blanket of grass she looked so at peace here as if nothing will ever hurt her, well I'll never would but there were things out side of this little peace world that would want to harm her. Will she want me to protect her?, will she want me to be her knight and shining armour, I doubt it and I doubt it a lot.

"Jake I bet your guessing why I brought you here? Well I brought you here so you can share the place with me, so when ever _you _feel down you can come here too to let it be your remedy "

I had to laugh this wasn't the Leah everyone knew and loved, who I _loved._

"What have you done to Leah and who are?"

She punched me lightly on the arm and pulled me down so I was lying down with her.

"So…Jacob"

"So…Leah"

She laughed and she had me laughing too.

We sat there for ages just talking and laughing or eating and throughout the whole thing I was trying to find the right moment to tell her how much I loved and how bad I wanted her too be with me but it never seemed like the right time to say it.

"Look" She pointed upwards to the gap in the arch.

"you can see the sunset."

It was really cool seeing the sunset in fact it was pretty romantic. Maybe I could tell her now it seemed like the perfect time.

"Leah I…"

Her phone went off.

"hello.."

She got up to talk somewhere else.

Maybe this wasn't meant to be me and Leah that's why there always seems to be a distraction whenever I want to bring it up.

"Jake we better get going my mum pretty worried about me..Sadly"

She sighed and I sighed too.

" oh what was it you was going to tell me?"

I better not tell her it's not worth loosing her friendship especially when it includes times like this.

"it's nothing I just wanted to say thank you"

"good 'cause I was getting worried you was never going to and your welcomed."

Then we took off back to la push hopefully leaving my loved up feelings for her behind.

_**There we go another chapter (longest chap yet), sorry for not updating lately I've been real busy and I'm also sorry for suspending jake n leahs soon to come relationship I was going to get them together here but I changed my mind so it won't come yet for like another 2 chaps.**_

_**Thnks for da review n hopefully I'll go back to my regular updating timetable.**_

_**-Xxlilmisstrouble**_

_***blackwater* coming soon.**_


	9. Spill

_Just wanna say thnkx to all my __**reviewers**__ your amazing._

_And i just wanna tell you I name all my chapters with something to do with that chapter it's kind of a game so I wander what you guys think "spill" will mean? after reading this story,plz review and tell me what you thought it meant!-_

* * *

Spill

Leah POV

It has been three whole days since my 'little outing' with Jacob. He hasn't called me, he hasn't come round,infact he hasn't made any contact with me at all and has seriously got me worried. I'll have to go see him.

I jumped out off bed and got ready. By the time I was down stairs Seth had awaken.

"where you going Le"

"out" I said it dryly

Seth was barley awake he was still rubbing his eye, poor should I say poor manly boy, Seth barley looked his age let alone a boy. He was really tall but no where near the height of Jacob and he had some abs but no where near as big as Jake's now thinking about it no one in _both _packs had could be compared to Jacob's _great_ body.

"out where?"

I can't believe he'll ask me such a question as if I'm going to answer.

"none of your bussiness,I'll probably be back before mum even wakes up."My Mum never slept this late(late meaning one in the afternoon)but lately she has been spending so much time over Charlie's she's always out until late and is back home when the sun is about to peek threw.

"ok then, but this means your cooking 'cause I'm making breakfast"

"whateva lil' bro, see ya"

And I closed the another gloomy day in La push barley a spot of sunlight _I closed the _door behind me. It was _nowhere, and_ it looked like it was going to rain pretty soon. I sighed, I like the rain, always had but in some ways rain always got you feeling down no matter how much you liked it.

I walked really quickly towards Jacobs house, he lived quite close, it was barley a 3 minutes way into the walk I caught sight of Jacob coming out of the forest, the forest was on the right hand side of the main road which looked pretty freaky at night, but was a great feature to a pain old boring road.

"Jacob where are you coming from, I was just heading to your place too"

He hesitated to answer.

"I've just come from the Cullen's house, I went to visit Bella."

He seemed kind of sad but not the depressing type which was a good sign.

"oh, how is she?"

He looked at me for the quickest second then looked away.

"Bella's…Bella is holding up, The doctor say her birth rate has slowed down the _fetus _is not growing as fast as it was"

I was kind of relieved, I had never meet eye to eye with the vampire chasing bitch aka Bella but she didn't really deserve what was happening to her, so to here that was kind of went quite it for a minute when Jacob spoke.

" you was going to my house?"

"yeah my mum sent me to check on Billy" I lied

I had to It was impolite to just start screaming stuff at him like a mad women and plus I had to build up a conversation first.

"lets take the shortcut" Jacob said it dryly It felt slightly offending.

"sure"

We walked into the forest and you could feel a slight drip of rain.I walked up to Jacob and jumped on to his back.

"Leah please, don't"

There was something going on with Jacob and it was ticking me off. I walked round so I was facing him and looked straight at him.

"what's your problem Jake." I was going to start of calmly but towards the end my voice got kind of out of control.

"nothing" he broke the eye contact and began to walk away. I grabbed him by the arm.

"why you acting like this" he's eyes looked down to where I was holding him on the arm. I let go.

"why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not"

I across my arms over my chest in disbelief .

"liar. You _so_ are avoiding me"

"1) you get all weird when ever I touch 2) you can't look me straight in the eye."

He went quite.

"is it a girl that's Why you feel uncomfortable touching me ?"

"no it's not"

"What else can it be Jacob, if it _is _Jake just spill, were friends"

"it's not" He said it dryly with no emotion at all.

"What else can it be?"

I thought hard for a second, then it hit me.

I knew this was going to happen. I wasn't built to _ever_ have happiness that's why when ever I beginning to feel happy or hopeful Fate turns around and snatches the provider of my happiness a way from me. It had finally happened like I had always guessed Jacob has grown of me, He hates me.I could feel my eyes water up, I tired to wipe it away but it was to late it had spilled over.

"I knew it, you don't like me" I whispered it so quietly, it was meant for my ears only but I knew he heard it.

I looked up so slowly, I caught Jacob's expressionHe's face was full of shock his mouth was shaped in and 'o' shape.

"I don't hate you" Jake whispered it back.

How could he play with my emotions like that look me in the eye and lie, the fact he whispered it only made me angrier

"how dare you!! Don't _lie_ Jake why else will YOU be avoiding me!!

"I'm not lying!" he raised his voice a little too.

"you make me fucking sick Jake you know then, if your not lying tell me then!! TELL me why the Fuck you got me crying."

By now it was pouring heavenly with rain. We was getting soaked.

"I can't say"

"YOU are SO Fucking ridiculous !!"

"you know what Leah your not so fucking great your self!"

I stood their thinking how come 3 days ago me and Jacob were practically brother and sister and now we were eating each other throats out.

"then GOOD now were even!!I Hate YOU Jacob Black!"

I saw Jacob cringe.

"I don't hate you Leah" He said it quietly

"THEN what the Fuck is it?"

" I..I."He breathed in deeply.

"I love you,Leah"

Now it all made absolute sense, in a weird way, I was so shocked I could barley move.

"you're the one'

We went quite again but for a short period of time.

"You're the one I'm crazy about, the one I think about day in day out, your the one who's got me craving for your touch like ice cream for a five year old. You're the one I wish to kiss good night to for the rest of my life. You're the one Leah Clearwater."

"I don't believe it" I could barley speak either.

"well you should"

We were so close I could feel his body heat.

To my surprise Jacob leaned in closer and closer, My breathing sped up, then I felt Jacob crush his lips onto mine.

His lips were warm and soft ,he was a _really _good kisser, The kiss was wild and out of control but it got me craving for more. I felt his tongue brush against my upper lip, a sign of entrance, I opened up my mouth and I felt his breath run into my mouth. He tasted _amazing. _Through out all this I couldn't help but have these questions run through my mind.

Did I love him the way he loved me?

Did I even feel slightest thing for Jake apart from attraction?,

The answer was no I didn't love him but I was attracted to him,but that will never be enough .I couldn't lead him on the to only breaks his heart, I had to stop this and stop it now.

"Ja..c.k…stop!"I pushed him of me.

He looked confused which was cute and he looked hot as ever when he's soaking wet, for a spilt second my mind made this little film showing me what would happen if I do say yes to Jacob, I shook my head as if the memories will shake off.

I knew _if do _choose Jacob it wasn't going to be for the reason why he wanted froze there just looking at each other I can't believe what I had done I had given him a taste of what could be and now I was going to snatch it away and I felt incredible guilty.

I closed my eyes and let it spill.

"No Jacob,…..you're not the one, I dream about and long for to hold me when I'm cold or feeling alone, your not the one I wish to spend the rest of my life with. _Your not the one_."

I walked away vowing not to look back because I knew his Facial expression will haut me for ever.

"Lea…h"Jakes voice was croaky and broken like he was on the verge of breaking into tears.

I looked back to my dismay to find Jake looking heart broken, For that very second I wished I could just kill my self.

I couldn't tell If he had been crying or if it was just the rain but I know How it _feels _to be let down and it feels like shit.

_**Sorry I rushed it a bit i wanted to put in a bit more detail but got someother things to do.I know what ya also thinking Xxlilmisstrouble is a B**** how can she do this but I leave you with one thing**_

_***blackwater* coming soon**_


	10. Confusing Questions

Confusing Questions

4 am in the morning and I'm wide a wake. This wasn't unusually, but the thing that was keeping me up was not of the recurring nightmares, but of the events that went on yesterday with _Jake._Over and over again my mind replayed the image of him kissing me and me breaking his heart. Let alone the recurring questions in my head.

Was I _just_ attracted to him or was there more?

Did he hate me or was he just not interested with begin friends with me?

And the kiss…………..

Because I enjoyed the kiss did that mean I was into him more than I thought?

Why does it have to be me? Me of all people, to have this implicated on the them. Life really was a pain in the ass, and there is no way of getting used to it.

*******

"Seth! Seth!"

I'm trying to get Seth to wake up but to no use. I could use the iron again..hmm…..but thinking back I better did Seth and Jacob sleep like the living Dead!!!

_Jake, _I let out a little sigh.

"come on Seth we better get going or we'll be late so wake up!!!" I gave him a very powerful slap across the face. Seth pulled a hand to his cheek and rubbed softly.

"GOD LEAH !!!,you don't have to slap me!"

"well, I had no choice,…so get up or I'll give you a slap that will make you weep like a baby!!"

Seth rolled of the bed, like the idiot he is, and walked to the bathroom.

When Seth was done after a _very_ short period of time, we made our way to Emily's, unfortunately Emily and Sam wedding was today and we was all getting ready over there.I was heading over to Emily's mum's house because we were getting changed there and the boys over at Sam's ,I am somewhat glad they were getting married but would of liked it to be another day rather than today, sadly I'm under a dark cloud.

"hey Leah!! So glad you could make it !!" Emily greeted me at the front door with only half her hair done.

"hey em's ,how's it going"I gave her a quick hug and let go.

"great" She pulled me into her house clearly excited.

"my hearts pumping like crazy Leah, I've never been so nervous in my life!"

Rub it in will you,geez!

"come on em's just try and calm down and enjoy it !"

"Aright, maid of honour" Emily joked, and yes you heard right I'm maid of honour to my ex's fiancé who is also my cousin.I guess your wondering why didn't I say no and slap her cross the face? We'll 1) where family and I do love her 2) I want to rub it Sam's face that I'm well over him and can handle coming to his stupid wedding.

"come on Le we still got loads to do" She took a look at me,top to bottom.

"…and we still have to get _you _in to the world hottest dress."Is she crazy maid of honours don't wear hot dresses we're so posed to look old and stupid.

"you are kidding me, a_ hot dress for the maid of honour?"_I asked her while she dragged me up the stairs.

She nodded " yeah, you wouldn't think I'll make you into an old granny, did you?"

"well I guess I thought you will 'cause all weddings have big green puffy dresses."

"well mine doesn't" she place her hand against her chest and I caught sight of her diamond ring which once belonged to me.I tired to ignore the twinge of jealousy I lead me to her room where everyone was getting ready even my mum was there.

"Leah,how come your so late ,I would of thought you would have been here ages ago. Thinking that's it's your cousin big day" Unlike some people, my mum still thought I had a grudge against Emily And Sam, which is not true we'll maybe still Sam.

"Mum seth was playing dead again so it's his fault"My mum rolled her eyes and walked out, guess where I got all the rolling of the eyes from?.I sat down when Rachel came over to do my hair. She picked up a brush and brushed through my hair.

"Leah can I ask you something?" Oooo! this sounded juicy.

"sure, spill"

"well since you and Jacob are like…" I caught hold of my breath.

"you know like good friends, I was wondering if you knew what's going on with J."

"what do you mean?" I knew where this was going.

"lately, well yesterday mainly, his been really down" She put down the brush and grabbed the hair straightners.

"I mean like depressed down, do you thinks he's back on Bella."

I knew exactly what was wrong with him and that I was the one who caused it.

"Maybe, he hasn't said anything to me"

"oh,ok" I felt really bad I hurt the person I loved most almost like a second brother and now I was lying to his sister/ best friend ,I might as well head for the whole family.

After the whole 'making me beautiful' session it was time to see the pulled out a dark plum colour dress mini dress from the wardrobe. Which would only long enough to reach half of my thigh. It was strapless less and had a tiny gem stud flower in the corner. It was exactly the same dress as all the other brides maid but mine was a darker shade.

"oh Emily you seriously shouldn't have? This must of cost loads"

"well it is the least I could do"Emily whispered,I think she went back to the Oh-I'm-so-sorry-for-doing-this-to-you-leah Emily.

I put the dress on and walked down to the living room where everyone was waiting for the bride but I was last to arrive.

"wow Leah you look great!!" Rebecca said

"don't you think it's a little ,you know…"My mum gestured with her arms hovering her thighs.

"…..short?" My mum cared about me to much it was almost irritating.

"no no don't be silly Sue.." Emily's mum said grabbing a seat near my mum.

"…it's longer than the dress we wore when we were younger."Then they both began to giggle. The rest of us just stared at each other.

"come one Emily, were all here now so you can come down. Now !!!" Rebecca shouted.

Then we all heard foot steps coming from the looked gorgeous, she wore a Satan white strapless dress. Long and puffy, with a small amount of sequins on the bass of the dress, her hair up in a tight bun, her makeup done perfectly, she looked unbelievably beautiful.

"Emily! Is that really you!, you look to good to be true!" Emily's mum was in floods of tears and my mum was trying to reassure her that today wasn't a day to be crying and that she'll make her mascara run. Typical for my mum to say that.

"of cause it's me Le!" Her voice sounded whiny and full of all rushed over to Emil's side making sure we haven't forgot anything, and congratulating Rachel for her super skills of beauty.

"ok Ladies enough goggling and a wowing the cars out front." Kim said from outside.

We arrived at the church on time, everyone settled into their chairs, and us brides maid's and groomsmen were left behind figuring out who we have to walk into the church with, imprints linked arm in arm, dates linked and couples linked arms. And as usually I was left alone with no one to walk in I was wrong Jacob had no one as well.

"come Le link with Jake so we can get going."

Jacob looked totally miserable, His hands were in his the grooms men wore black trousers and a white, buttoned down to fourth button, they were such show looked anxious and Jacob looked so zoned out it was surprising he was remembering to breath.

"come on le"

Everyone looked back.

"ok! I'm moving"

I walked towards Jacob and placed my arm on his so we were linking like everyone else.

He looked down, and looked seriously hated me. We all moved forward toward the alter.

Jacob let go of my arm once we reached our places on the all the sudden I felt really cold, in away I wanted him to hold me again , I felt almost bare without him.

"why you pouting for?" Seth was standing besides me he was so Tall he was almost Jacob's height and he was getting big to, it was hard to believe it was by bother….wait did he just say I was pouting? I never pouted even as a child, my mum always said I was stubborn but never stubborn enough to get upset.

"I'm not pouting" I argued

"_you so are_" Seth said it in a really girly voice.

"what you so upset about?"

Was I upset that Jake let go of my arm? I am so messed up.

"nothing"

"whatevea u say sis"

Seth walked away and went to chat with Embry who was standing near Jacob talking.

I stared after Seth but my eyes seemed to set on Jacob and that very moment all I wanted was for him to hold me like yesterday.

_Thnks for da review I've been struggling with many things like spelling and making the whole thing flow but should get better.._

_Xxlilmisstrouble-_

_*Blackwater* coming soon!_


	11. Feeling it all over again Part one

I've been such as Bitch I havent reviewed for weeks I'm soooooooooo sorry I'll try not to do it again but skol iz a bitch…

Ok thnkz for da reviews n guess what *BLACKWATER* is finally here.

Warning this chapter is the reason I've rated this story an M,lemons**

(the next chapter will be the reason I've rated this story an m)

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Feeling it all over again

After party at the Res's town hall, god is it boring! Sitting down watching everyone have fun while your in absolute misery one place you really want to be is at wedding? Not!Our pack is sitting at one table, I'm sitting next to Seth who is chatting quietly with Embry. It looks like I'm not the only one who is suffering because opposite me sit's Jacob, pouting.

"God, you guys are boring!" Quil sighed loudly

"if you find your three year old girlfriend more entertaining be my guest and leave.." Embry was teasing but teasing with Quil about his imprint can hit deep to the bone with him.

"she's not my girlfriend!" barked Quil.

"wateva…" Embry whispered "….pedo"Embry and Seth sniggered to each quietly. Quil stormed of towards Claire, poor boy he's stuck with a kid actually a toddler another reason to hate imprinting.I felt an arm touch my shoulder, I looked up to find my mum, even if I didn't look up I would have been able to smell her distinctive perfume, which she worn for years.

"Did someone die or are you kids acting depressed for the fun of it?" My mum asked arching her left eyebrow. She looked around the table and sighed.

"come on have you guys realised your at a wedding? Your killing the mood? You party poopers!" _Party poopers_? did my mother just say that, god what is the world coming mother sighed again hopelessly as we all stared at her.

"god grief! Just get up and dance so when the married couple look back at the wedding video you look happy at some point!….Seth, Embry at least dance with your dates?…"Seth rolled his eyes and slowly pushed his chair back a mirroring image with Embry.

"That's the spirit" was my mum seriously hyped or what?It was only me and Jacob left on the table, I crossed by arms over my chest and slouched in my mums eyes were looking back and fourth between us.

"Jake? Leah? Come on go and dance show that your not miserable party poopers." There we go again with the party poopers my mum is on something.I look up from the table towards Jake, who is starring at his hands.

God does he look fit !! You could see the planes of his muscle soaking through his shirt, which looks like it can't take the size of his abs ands about to rip any moment now…

"Leah?…"

"ok mum, god! I'll dance" I gave up and straightened up my was by my mums side asking something and my mum was giggling stupidly, I understand now, it's Charlie who's got her all hyped up.I walked over to Jacob with my arms out .

"come on Jacob…"The first words I've said to him since yesterday.

"…..let's dance" I looked up surprised, I bet he hated me I needed tell him that I dibn't that I wanted to be with him….

"sure" he smiled back but it didn't reach his eyes and you could clearly hear the misery in his voice. I pulled him slowly towards the dance floor.A new song was playing and I recognised it 'Keyshia Cole-Love' how ironic right? He took hold of my hands and held them far from him as if a huge box was planted in the middle of us. I wasn't satisfied with the way he was holding me. I let go of his hands gently and moved back ,his face looked confused and _cute_ .

"you don't have to be afraid to touch me" I whispered making sure no one but him heard. I moved in closer dragging out my steps and ignored his hands and placed my arms around his neck, pulling myself closer to him, crushing my chest against his, He finally got the message and placed his hands softly against either side of my hip and he pulled me closer towards him. He whispered lightly in my ear.

"I'm not afraid to touch you, I'm afraid you won't let me"

I shivered lightly, Goosebumps arising all over my arm. We moved slowly to the beat of the music, swaying, I should just come out with it now and tell him that I wanted him just the way he wanted me, that yesterday I wasn't thinking straight, At this very moment all I wanted was him and him only, I wanted to do things to him that no ones ever done to him and wanted him to s……..

I felt a light tap on my shoulder and Jacob pull away,Who the was interrupting my perfect fantasies and my perfect moment with J…

"Leah…" God help me cause whoever it is I'm going to….

"…could you dance with me?" I turned around recognizing that same dumb-piece of shit voice. Sam.I planted a fake smile on my face and said "sure Sam" as friendly as possible remembering the words my mum said earlier.

"be nice to Sam and Emily on their wedding day and try to act like your enjoying yourself, please for me Leah" I hated seeing my Mum beg so I agreed sadly and said "sure, whatever Mum" why the hell did I agree. I knew he didn't come over to me by his free will, I knew that the person I once called 'best friend' persuaded him to come over and be 'friendly' to me, How did I know ? Because every other second I see him look over to where Emily was and she'll give him and encouraging look, where was she to give him the 'encouraging look' when he was fucking me in his bedroom? Huh?, God how I loath them two. Urgh!

His holding me but no where near the way Jacob was holding me, he's holding me like the way you hold a dirty old sock,ok maybe I'm exaggerating but I'm not to keen on touching him swaying way to slowly for this beat ,I can't wait for this song to be over with !

"Le…I'm mean Leah…"That's right you better correct your self because if I here that stupid nickname I'll punch him right where his jaw is and it will hurt so much when ever he opens his mouth he'll be forced to never speak again better if he'll never be able to eat again so he'll starve to death but they might feed him through a tube but still……

"….I just wanted to say thank you for ,y'know coming to the wedding"

Psh ! "I didn't come because of you I came because of Emily."

He stiffened

"Look Leah…." He sighed

"I'm really sorry for what happened between us, I never intended…."

Oh here we fucking go again….

I dropped his hands quickly and stepped back.

"your sorry, you never intend to hurt me.. Blah blah blah " I mimicked his voice.

"your full of crap Sam y'know that, _sorry_ is not enough, _sorry_ doesn't heal my half eaten heart,_sorry_ doesn't bring back my Dad, _sorry_ doesn't do anything but give the people apologising a peaceful mind." I hissed quietly making sure no one hears this apart from opened his mouth about to speak but a held a hand out showing I didn't want to hear anymore of his bullshit.

"Save it, for someone who cares Sam"With that I turned my back on him and walked out of the stupid wedding before I did something I'll regret. Why did I even come to this after party? I should of sprinted out of the wedding ceremony as soon as it was over and gone home. Stupid Sam and his ugly big ball eating mouth.I pushed the door open and the cold hit me right in the face, It was freezing and I was a wolf and to feel cold means it's freezing, and worse of all I was wearing 4 inch high heel and they are killing me! It had been so long since I've worn them I couldn't walk at first. I'll have to walk all the way home, My house wasn't that far from the Rezes town hall but with this kind of weather and in these heels it seemed like walking to Canada and back, ok maybe I'm exaggerating but come on can this night get any worse. I pulled of my super high heels and began the walk home.

"oi oi hey Sexy, how you doin' " the voice come from across the street. I looked back to the right to find a bunch of men completely drunk. I quickened my pace trying to get away from them for their own good because if they got anymore closer to me they'll be shocked of what they'll find.

"hey we're talking to you!!" another one shouted. I knew they was approaching me and I was practically sprinting when I heard a very familiar engine from the distance. I looked back to find the rabbit speeding down the road, talk about saved by the bell (well not literally)The car stopped besides me and I let out a sigh of opened the passenger door for me and said

"jump in"

There was a smile was playing on the corners of my mouth.

"gladly" I replied.

I slammed the door shut and leaned back comfortably, the car was warm and smelt just like him, his scent was always appealing but at this moment it was almost appetizing ,I shivered with the sudden rush of heat.

"you cold?" Jacob asked his voice soft and light.

I nodded trying not look his way. He pulled his blazer off using one hand while the other on the stirring wheel and handed it over to me, I so didn't deserve his hospitality after yesterday but yet he was giving me his blazer.I wrapped it around myself breathing in deeply his scent, god did he smell nice, my mouth was watering how can someone smell so tasty it's abnormal right ? But yet again there was nothing normal about Jacob. I bet this is how Bella smelt to Edward, no! how can I compare myself to a vampire.I laughed a shaky laugh out loud and Jacob looked at me confused,I just mouthed "nothing" and he went back to looking at the road. We were silent he was busy driving and as the idiot I am kept starring at my hands on my lap, I have to tell him that what I said yesterday was complete and utter crap before he dropped me of at home.

"Jacob…" I started but he interrupted me.

"yeah I know you thought I was going to drop you of at your house but I thought you'll like a hot drink first" He turned the engine was he talking about? Hot dink first ? I looked around and we was parked out side of his house he must of thought I was going to ask him why we were outside his house and not got of the car and walked round to my door and opened it. I so did not deserve was dark inside his house, well it will be until you switch the light on.

"sit down, I'll get you a drink….what do you want?, well I think we've got coffee and hot chocolate?" He looked at me questionably.

"hot chocolate…….please" I said.

He nodded and before he walked into the kitchen he pulled his shirt of over his head not bothering to undo his shirt, unfortunately he was wearing one of those men tank tops or vest whatever they call them, he looked really hot in one of them you could see the pattern of his muscle soaking through the vest, I really wanted to run my hands over his chest my hand even twitched at the disappeared into the kitchen and I was left in the living staring at the blank TV. A few minutes later he came in holding two cups of hot chocolate, he placed them on the coffee table in front and sat down on the far corner of the sofa, leaving a massive gap between us. We was in complete silence for what seem liked for ever, but more realistic a few minutes. I heard him sigh and mumble something, then he turn around to face me.

"look Leah…" I turned around facing him too.

"…..this is dumb in fact this is really stupid j…j just because I like you and you don't doesn't mean we can't hang out the way we used to right?" He's voice seemed to disappear after he said 'I like you' and he looked away not wanting to meet my eyes.I moved closer towards him and searched for his eyes to meet mine.

"what makes you think _I_ don't like you?"

He's head shot up and he looked confused or even shocked.

"you yesterday…you said.."I cut him off moving in even closer.

"I wasn't thinking straight yesterday..…I was but the reason I said what I said was because I didn't…scratch that I mean I was afraid of begin hurt again…." He looked bedazzled.

"I'm afraid of y'know…" I looked at the floor this time not meeting his eyes. He searched for my eyes like I did for his.

"loving again" He finished the sentence for me.

I nodded."but I now I looking back I was begin stupid, I didn't even give you a chance and I really _like you_ too." I looked up and caught his eyes. He moved in closer so close his breath tickled the side of my cheek.

"tell me your not playing around, Clearwater"

"I'm not" I breathed

"look me in the eye and say that you _like_ me" I looked him straight in the eye, into his deep brown eyes and said

"I falling for you Jacob and I'm falling for you hard."

"show me, that you love me because I don't believe you."

I closed my eyes and closed the gap between us…………….._**to be continued**_

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_**(longest chap yet so I stopped it)**_

_**Ok I kind of rushed that but I got some free time today and I felt so bad for not updating fot so long I wrote this,I don't think it fits right with the other chaps but I've sort of forgot what I've written but I'll go back a read agin n make sur da other chaps blend together…..**_

_**Xlilmisstrouble**_


	12. AUTHOR'S NOTE

I have thought about this,and i'm officially re-starting this story again coz I really like wat I'm gonna do with it ,so I'm restarting chapie one should be re-dune by thrusdaii

this story should be wayyyyyyyyyyyy better than this first darft

Xlilimisstoruble


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